As I ascended the world seemed tiny
Its peoples further and further away.
Yet I feared not
For the truth I sought was but within my grasp
I embraced the universe with love unlimited…
And I was not alone; had never been alone
For the love that surrounded me
Came from a source not of the earthly realms
It was unending and everlasting
I had turned the Key to the door often sought
Yet seldom found
I was home at last
“Some of us have walked this way before & will walk this way again; we will always seek out and find our true kin, our ‘family’ to walk with them time & time again”
“Thaddaeus was the female apostle of Malak; a part of the very first council. She has a Craft/energy line that continues on this earthly plane to this very day…..”
From the moment I first set eyes on him, when our eyes briefly met as he passed by and our gazes melded, I knew then that he was special. I had no doubt in my mind that he was everything that those whom knew him said he was, but little did I know at that time just how close we would become and of how our lives would forever remain entwined.
That deep connection was confirmed when I was asked to become part of his carefully chosen circle. He had come down from on high after being on his own for prayer and solitude. His choice was made for those he wished as his apostles; his ambassadors in the physical world and I was to be one of those whom he would teach and share the truths with. I in my turn would protect him and continue teaching his truths long after this existence in his earthly body was no more. He taught me the truths of time and of creation; of the reason for his own existence and I knew that if the patterns of the universe were to exist, then our energies would once again meet in the future, recognize and know each other. I thus became his messenger; an ambassador of his teachings whilst out in the world and eventually and with great honour, I received the ‘K.e.y to the Kingdom’.
Had I know him as child? Some say I was related, a cousin; my mother and his mother the virgin, being cousins and so we may have played together as children, maybe if so then destiny was forged right then and there and a path laid out for me. But what is kin? For I was later to learn it was far more than an earthly connection. I eventually gave up everything that I knew in order to follow him and to learn his teachings of the truths, becoming one of the chosen ones; his bonded ones. He walked within the world of men, seen by many yet truly known by only a very few, as to whom he really was and the true origins of his birth. And so I was at his side, patiently learning and always thirsting for knowledge and willing to share, until the very end of that particular earthly stage. As one always eager for his words and teachings, i was to sup from the chalice of life at his table as he shared his blood, as he shared his life and I knew my body and heart would never hunger because of it. With my brother Simon I was there to the very end of that earthly phase.
It seems I took upon myself the courage to ask him why he did not manifest himself to the whole world, to which he replied to me that if anyone loves me he will keep his word and my father will love him, and we will come to him and make our abode with him. He who does not love me will not keep my words which sadly always proved to be so true. As always the teachings of the truths and why he was here among us were built upon a strong foundation of love and trust; a love and trust which went both ways.
I was always very wary of those who would claim to preach in His name, for they knew nothing of the universe and lead others astray, yet they fooled me not and I knew that time would reveal all; all the false prophets would be doomed and destroyed. Likewise though within the realms of Angels too I knew that there were those that did not keep their word and sought that which was forbidden to them, seeking the way of strange flesh which should not be their way at all and I knew this would be their undoing and they too would be held in darkness until the day of judgement came. To live in truth we must all be filled with wisdom and not as an empty cloud filled not with rain or a late autumn tree devoid of fruit. I knew the future to come, I saw it clearly and knew the fruit was due to fall from the trees leaving them barren.
Some say I was a martyr, had a courageous heart and yet I was only doing that which I had been taught to do; that which was now bound also within my own heart. I was taught the truths of the earthly plain by him and of that which had bought him from worlds afar to these fertile lands; he spoke of his own world across the universe and his own origins of which I knew he shared with so few. Yet after all this time the truths of the world still go unheard across time and space and across the very plains of physical existence. He bestowed upon me, together with the other apostles, the other chosen ones, the flame of the Holy Spirit; we drank from the chalice of life with him and thus the divine light was forever to blaze above my head.
I was always to stand by his side, albeit often in the shadows at the edge of the group and often unnoticed by society; for that was my way, yet all his words became a complete part of me and a part of who I was to become. He led the Way and I in time became the Way also. I was close by his side on so many occasions, some written down while others not so and I witnessed him heal the sick on many occasions, guide the misfortunate ones and bestow the teachings of truth upon others. I even saw him occasionally despair at the thoughtless actions of mankind and make his feelings well and truly known, but maybe it was only those of us truly close to him that really knew how he felt.
I loved to be by myself to write down my words; the words that came straight from my heart for I knew that in a future time there would be those who would come along and read my words and would understand. I wrote my words for them. To this day many of my words still remain a mystery, my gospel truths unseen, hidden within time and attributed to others or simply disregarded, yet I know in my heart that those who find them will read and truly know.
Many writers and scholars have confused me, maybe on purpose especially the gospel writers, with Judas, not the Iscariot one I hasten to add, and with Lebbaeus and Jude also and at times they seem unsure of whom my parents and siblings were but does that really matter? One must ask what’s in a name and for what deeper reason did the scriptures appear confused; were they concealing something on purpose? For we must always dig deep to find that which we seek. I in my heart know of the truth of whom I am and why the truth has been hidden and diluted for so long within the world of men. Many usually great and renowned artists too, have been content to see me forever as a man and that is fine, for those who know me, thus know me as I truly am and it is forever the word of the truths that I have been trusted with that are important and not the teller.
At times I was greatly challenged because of who I really was, yet in time the people began to see me differently, honoured me and came to me. My challenges often gave rise to me being perceived as a martyr, though I was always following my heart and the heart of he who had chosen me and to whom I had freely relinquished my soul. I wish not for the populace to worship or venerate me, for I only wished for them to listen to the true words and to find The Way for themselves and to be awakened from the everlasting darkness of lies in which they reside and see the true beauty of the Light.
My journey was always one of forever seeking knowledge and I always had a hundred questions to ask. I needed to understand fully why some can ‘see’ while others can not and in time my knowledge expanded and the answers became clear to me. I further asked of him how it was that he manifested himself to us and not unto the world at large. But all things happen in time and with love, and time is not always the right time so we held our understandings within, until a time to come in the future allowed us all to stand together upon the shores of time once more.
Life after he was no longer within the physical earthy realms was taken up with sharing the truths of his teachings and with spreading his Word. His Divine Spirit and influence were always with me; that part of him never, ever left me and in that knowledge came great courage and great strength. I preached his truths all over the world that was then known to me; Judea, Samaria, Idumaea, Syria, Mesopotamia and Libya to name but a few and it is written that I took the Word of his teachings to Armenia. Did I end up as a martyr with my brother Simon in Persia as the scriptures state or is my tale still unfolding? But what is certain is that a ‘Jude’ and a ‘Simon’ are to this day venerated together on October 28th, both dying together as martyrs in the eyes of the world. For this date is indeed a time of endings and beginnings and hides a tale of rebirth.
There is much confusion as to my earthly remains and as I said previously what’s in a name, so then by the same token, what is in the importance of my earthly remains or anyone’s for that matter, for it is within the wisdom of the teachings I shared and in the love in my heart that I wish to be remembered. For He that has taught and guided me; it is His truth and it is His beauty that will be forever bound within my breast like a bright shinning star upon the black waters of creation. For He that was then shall be again and those that were by His side shall rise again within the realms of time and so shall a telling be complete and our place among the stars once more affirmed. A cycle will complete within the land of time and prophecies told will come to be for those who walk The Way.
Thaddaeus as told to Su.endal 2012
‘The Keeper of Scrolls’
“In truth we Live, In life we Reveal”
As we all know very well, life has a way of always going forwards with hopefully us with it, and of course what is meant to be surely will be. We as individuals do need to constantly move forward regardless of whatever else is going on around us, especially within the lives of others. In order to tread the universal foothills in search of knowledge we have to be very aware of the pitfalls that stem from the everyday lives of others, pitfalls that only serve to hold us back, imprisoning us in the mundane. For at the end of the day we are all living our own very special and individual lives and not the lives of anybody else. Life is a gift upon a true path of learning and to waste it would surely be improper. Do not let the ups and downs of the world or the problems of others around you, mar your own view of life, do not let the misfortunes of others cloud your visions, for by doing so you are wasting away your own precious gift, a gift too precious to measure. We all have our unique paths of destiny to complete; we all have our own journeys to walk and to stand still upon the shores of time is not what we were created for.
Humans are individuals, originally created with a purpose to their ‘gods’, yet some (known as ‘traits’) were gifted with a far higher purpose and with tutouring and teaching have the potential to evolve above and beyond the plan intended for non traits. The world, the universe can become a greater place of learning and knowledge of the true old ways. And thus in time we, as traits, will learn where we came from, whom we really are and how we evolved and can evolve; this is a great gift of truth in itself. Those with sight and insight know this, are aware of what is around them. They know how to use their gifts while those that ‘just are’ will always ‘just be’; forever in the dark without even being aware of this very fact. Many humans are in prison but have no idea of this fact.
So then, strive upwards upon the ladder towards the ‘stars’ for it is there that the truths of our ancestors are to be found. The earthly plain is home for just a very short cycle and as we know all cycles must begin and then end, but with the final end cycle fast approaching we know that we can thus make way for a brand new beginning. It is well known that all new beginnings must first have an ending – so as to complete the cycle. Those who learn, who do not stand still in time, those who evolve above and beyond their perceived humanity into a future of truths and revelations will surely be a part of the new cycle; a new dawn to be fully embraced by those who dare step over the threshold. It is a challenge, it is a big dare and in reality only a few will take this final step and rise like a phoenix from out of the flames of chaos.
There are those around who can open the doors, who can lead those with insight, perception and hidden gifts into a future unknown previously by most, but the few can become the many for those of The Way. Great truths require great leaders, needing those who dare to tread the road less travelled, yet they are not always whom one thinks they are. We share LIGHT and truth with those who truly seek. We are family bonded and bound by the blood ties of centuries past, ties that take us into the future, always moving with the universal tides and to the rhythm of our own dear hearts. Our life is our joy and our joy is in sharing to all who come through our doors seeking the wonderful truths of life.
“Ge be Dag ma Dara be Ar”
“If we look to the stars to see the sights, the stars will come down with fists to fight
Sol here to learn the sun time three, to retrieve the answer to the ineffable key”
‘The Keeper of Scrolls’
It is certainly a time of great change; a time of evolving; a time of truths and traveling through the degrees of LIGHT can certainly bring about great changes to all those on this path. Vibrations are speeding up causing many to seek out the truths and those truths are now being revealed. Many come to this path for various reasons – some stay awhile yet others do not – this it is all meant to be. When the universe calls one answers but it needs to be from an open heart when travelling upon the sphere of time and beyond.
We are warriors, sure but of a spiritual nature – here to guide all those who wish to, to evolve and to seek enlightenment. The universe is full of wonders and surprises and to become a warrior one has to let go into being in order to light the Black Flame. Who are we? Where are we going? Who can we become? Interesting concepts and just the type of questions that many are now asking.
We are all humble servants of the universe/multiverse and all have a part to play and yet by evolving we can go deeper in and deeper still, become stronger and attain that which has always been there but yet has remained hidden within the world of men for many centuries.
The eve of the tide is nigh, who cares to ride?
If you feel drawn towards this path and wish to find out more on becoming an Ansar, please do contact me on:
“I shine as the moon, i sing as the sun, I am the guiding star, yet still you know me not”
One of the tenets of treading a very deep and profound path; non more so than that of the Old Ways, is that just when you believe all is safe and well and you have reached a pinnacle of sublime understandings, the path and what you perceived as your understandings can come right back at you and kick you hard in the face, as all that you ever knew is totally transformed into something deeper and more profound than you ever thought possible. Sometimes it can strike like a bolt of lightning on a once sturdy old oak tree, rendering you as the old oak shot right into two straight down the middle. Even if you see it coming you may have nowhere to run, nowhere to hide and find yourself totally laid bare in the aftershock.
However, you do actually need these bolts from the blue, these reality checks, for they are the challenges and the safeguards sent to you for a reason; they are the hurdles we must all overcome in order to progress (or not) within our given paths. For it is certainly ‘Those That See And Observe’ in action; living up to their name. We may need to travel deep down and hit rock bottom more than once on this journey, facing the darkness and the uncertainty alone. Many times we can reach out in order to grasp the hidden thorn and be totally torn to shreds before eventually emerging into a new dawn of understandings. All our journeys are very different, very individual, even for walkers of the same path and yet many journeys take us eventually to the same point of understandings at different points in time within the universe. Yet to go further than we ever thought possible, we must break through our own human led limitations and expectations, break out of that old mindset that we have been force-fed with in order to access that realm of ultimate perfection within the universe; access that place that seems so seductively near but is oh so very far away.
Knowledge is truth and truth is power yet with knowledge and truth comes big responsibilities as the mysteries are demystified and reality starts to unravel before our very eyes transforming into the reality we always knew within our hearts yet dared not to even think about. The darkest hour as we know, is just before dawn and a phrase that we may have referred to time and time again, but what does this really mean? When in this dark place we must relish and embrace all the lessons being offered there, equally the good and the bad, and learn from them as we have never learnt before; we are being held there for a reason and cannot not move on until we have learnt those lessons laid out for us and the ‘powers that be’ within the universe deem us ready. So learn and grasp as you never have before, learn to shed that which you need to shed in order for transformation to happen, however hard, however painful it just has to be faced in order to move on and up again. Only you, the lone traveller on this particular journey can face it, it is a journey you must face alone yet in facing it and learning from it you/those of us who are meant to, will surely all rise again.
Many will never tread the path of truth, many will have the ability to yet will never fulfill their purpose and many, many more will never even know of the journey or of the truths of existence and will never even give it a thought, yet that is the way it is meant to be; it is as it always has been and what will be, will indeed be. Only a few will ever truly see or hear that exquisite song of the piper at the gates of dawn heralding in an old truth to the Serpent Army. It is not a quick fix by any means, this journey can be a journey of many lifetimes and many folks will forever hide behind the facade of illusionment of the modern world, living for today, hard and fast in a circle of false promises begetting the unfulfilment of their own manifested urobourous; getting nowhere very fast.
Whether or not we follow the Way of the Blood, the true Old Ways, for the transformation to truly happen on any level we must evolve from within in order for the first stages to begin and this can only happen when you remove all the baggage that humanity has thrown at you, when you clear your mind and you face yourself alone, as the one that you truly are and truly love what you see.
But the joy, the real joy of transformation is often totally and utterly silent, a very personal covenant of peace and joy between you and the Divine, so very personal and profound in fact that no utterances or affirmations in the world of men are ever needed. It is of a coming home to a home that once you had no concept of its existence; it is though of a very real world, a very real way of life that can only be accessed by the opening of your heart, by releasing the ego and by finding peace within and trust without for those who are there to guide and nurture you at every step of the way. Then and only then will real alchemical and physical transformation ever even begin to take place.
“I am the riddle of the whispering wind and will be with you till the end of days”
She walked upon this sphere in grace and light
When the veil thins and the universe shares the truths
Her memory dances in the fallen autumn leaves
Her footsteps are imprinted upon the damp cooling earth
As the mists swirl at dusk she allows her breath to touch your lips
Entering your soul as dark descends
…….. or does it? I wonder how many times we have all pondered on this ageless question, time and time again i would think, as we endeavour to weave our way through life’s winding labyrinth, never knowing where the next twist or turn will take us. Often it seems as if the universe has forgotten about us completely and we have no idea where we fit in or where we are going, for in life it seems that nothing ever happens instantaneously and on our journey through it we have many lessons to be learned.
True, the universe throws many challenges on our doorsteps and yet they are all simply just waiting to be solved; yes they are indeed all very solvable yet maybe not in the ways expected though. The answers lie in the words of that now well used phrase ‘thinking outside of the box’ or another of my favourite quotes “If you always do what you’ve alway done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got“. Simply put, break the patterns, stop the repetitives and the universe will answer your call. Push aside the veil of illusionment to find the answers that you seek; employ a bit of lateral thinking to break the chains. Mmm…..easier said that done i hear you shout!
If we have goals in life, a universal ‘Wish List’ to employ, an end result to travel towards then it does make things a lot easier, especially with keeping these goals uppermost in mind at all times. There is no harm at all in regularly having a little ‘one to one’ with the powers that be up at Universe HQ or even to have a rant and rave at them now and again but remember though, results take time and wont happen overnight. I know from much personal experience to never give up or to turn aside from that which you really wish for in life and over time it will eventually manifest for you in the mundane world. It may take many, many years mind, as time and tide has no significance in the great wide world of our magnificent universe, but if you have clarity, insight, patience and really know what it is you want then you may be surprised at the end result.
Nothing is easy and it is not necessarily meant to be so. We are all here on this earthly plane to learn wisdom and knowledge; the begatting of which is an interesting and enlightening journey and at times not always easy to understand the whys and wherefores thrown our way. Keep love and trust uppermost in your heart when focussing on your goals; love and trust in the fact that the universe will provide to those with an open heart. The natural state of humanity is that of challenge and inquisitiveness, that is how we learn and move on, by learning, overcoming obstacles and being a part of all the wonder before us. Humanity does strive for perfection yet perfection in a corporeal world is a myth, an illusion for us spiritual beings living out earthly time in a human form, for humanity by way of it own ‘fall’ is in an imperfect state of being. But we can make our little steps in the universe, we can bring our own state of ‘earthly perfection’ into our lives by striving ever onwards towards our goals, by having an open inquiring mind and to always be a part of the mystery.
